Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
