He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
