Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
