I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
