Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
