hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
