Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
