I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
