If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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