Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
