the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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