Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
