i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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