Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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