he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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