Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
