Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
