haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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