I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
