On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Everything about him screamed your future.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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