how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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