woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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