Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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