Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
