I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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