Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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