I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
