fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
