what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
