I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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