3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
