i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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