One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
