On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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