They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
