How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
