Duck Duck Cougar?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish you could order shots online.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
