If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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