My nipple is on Facebook.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
