i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
