epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
