my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
