I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
