the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
