Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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