I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
In America we eat man semen.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
