Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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