what day is it and did you see me today?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Boobs are out for the taking
In other news, I just burned my penis
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
