But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
