Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
